Non-verbal communication

Use open body language - think about how you are sitting, relax and be attentive to show you want to hear and listen. An open posture with arms and legs uncrossed can make people feel more at ease.

Keep your eyes on the same level as the person you’re talking to.

Keep looking at the person while you listen as well as while you talk.

Keep within a comfortable distance of the person Generally, there should be 1–2 feet between you. Try to make sure there are no physical obstacles (desks, bedside tables, and so on) between you.

Use silence: If someone stops talking, it usually means that he/she is thinking about something painful or sensitive. Wait till they are ready to speak.

On occasions, don’t be afraid to say nothing and to just stay close. Sometimes a touch or an arm around the person’s shoulder is of greater value than anything you say.

Verbal communication

Find out whether the person wants to talk

Listen and show you’re listening. Some tips on how to do this:

• Think carefully about what the person is saying. Don’t rehearse your reply.
• Try not to interrupt; if on the other hand, he/she interrupts you, stop and let him/her speak.
• Clarify and check understanding. “Can I just clarify, are you are telling me….?” ‘Help me to understand what you mean’
• Show that you’re hearing by repeating two or three words from the patient’s last sentence.
• Reflect back to the person what you’ve heard. Offer comments like, ‘So you mean that ... ’

Encourage the person to talk.

Try nodding, or offering affirmative comments like, ‘Yes’, ‘I see’, or ‘Tell me more’.

Acknowledge what you are noticing or hearing e.g. ‘I can see/hear you are very upset by this’. This can open up the conversation.

Ask open questions

• For example, ‘What is important to you now and for the future?’ Or open questions about feelings ‘How do you feel about your illness?’

Check ‘is there something else?’ This is an effective way to check there is nothing else the person wants to say and that they are ready to move on.

Summarise

• Use the person’s own words to check you have heard everything and nothing is missed.

Don’t give advice prematurely

• If you must advise, use helpful phrases like: ‘Have you thought about trying …’ or ‘a friend of mine once tried … ’

Encourage reminiscence

• Reminiscence helps people to find meaning in their lives. It may also help to highlight coping strategies they have used in the past.